I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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