That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
did i just pee glitter
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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