i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize