Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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