operation have a gay friend backfired
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize