Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
