My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize