The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
