she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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