I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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