Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
