Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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