I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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