having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize