somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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