just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
