you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
