I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
