Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize