Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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