i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
