he told me I talked like a deaf person
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
