i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
