i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize