I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
