we're blogging at a bar
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
