Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
