You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So much rum. So many feels.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
