if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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