I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
