yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
