***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I bet he comes in French.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
