Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
