I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
