I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
