Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
