im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
