i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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