New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
