420 ftw
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
