I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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