And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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