Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
