You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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