I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
