Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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