This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
