And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
