I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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