I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's the barista slut.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
