i think my mom watched the whole time
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
