Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
