we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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