we have pet lesbian snakes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
