The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize