Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
