My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
