remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
