My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
