He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize