worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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