trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
