Heybabeimwearingurpanties
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
