Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
