mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I could fuck to npr.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
