i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
