I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
