she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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