he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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