this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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