My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
