after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
