Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i out mim tonsoeep
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