my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
