I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Green mimosas i think yes
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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