My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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