You're completely useless in the revolution.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You've changed since you got that strap on
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
