Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just want to make out with him forever
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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