so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
