my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
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