Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
