idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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